Im on a randomness kick

February 19, 2007 – Monday

uh,,, yeah…

I got a new wallet… its orange, in case I want to buy a deer… wait.. that didnt make sense.

If you were in a war, and you forged food ration coupons, would you be a hero or a criminal?

Dont ever use a sleeping bag in Mexico. They might be cannibals, and mistake you for a burrito.

I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What’s that you’re wearing? That’s sizzlin’! (can you tell i was at chilies tonight?)

You know… pot heads would LOVE to be caught by spiderman… theyd be like “hey man, thanks for the hammock!”

I went to a restaurant with my friend, and he said, “Pass the salt.” I said, “Screw you! Sit closer to the salt.”

I have a Sharpie. I love Sharpies. You know what they say on them? Not for letter writing. That sucks. Now I have to communicate with my dad using numbers. (sorry, the sharpie was within reach…)

I saw an ad for ice cold beer. BULLSHIT. If it was ice cold, it would be impossible to drink, it would be a solid.

I bet ‘knock on wood’ started when door to door salesmen we popular, “I hope i sell this shit, im tired of carrying it…. knock on wood”

Im not going to get the regular AIDS test anymore. Im going to do the roundabout AIDS test. I’ll ask my friend , “Do you know anybody who has AIDS?”. He’ll say, “No”. I’ll say, “Cool, because you know me.”

I went to get pancakes the other morning… I think people get fruit on pancakes, because they want something to brush off.

If you want a job releasing bad news to the public, it will help if you are not ugly.

After tonight, I think I should have drawn pictures on the backs of my eyelids of the girl i was with, but enjoying herself more….

I want to rob a bank with a BB gun. “Give me all your money or I will give you a dimple! I will be rich, you will be cute. We both win.”

You should never tell someone they have a nice dimple, because maybe they were shot in the face with a BB gun.

Alright… im going to bed… my brain hurts.

peace out